Reply to In-laws upset they can't visit ON grandchild's birthday

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "In-laws upset they can't visit ON grandchild's birthday"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is nothing you can do. Accept they will be upset, and invite them with good spirits when it's convenient. Their hurt feelings are on them. It's your kids' birthday,  not theirs[/quote]

Your kids birthday even a teens birthday is about the person with the birthday. It's entitled and rude for grownups to expect to hijack these things and make it about them. I feel for the hype about how family is so important and the guilt trips for too long. Our family became much happier and healthier with boundaries. We let the self-absorbed be unhappy and stopped trying to fix that. You know who the true gems are when you see the, graciously accept boundaries or be so tuned in you don't even need to establish boundaries.[/quote]

Inviting everyone out to lunch or dinner the day before or day after depending on the kid's bday plans seems like a good non-dysfunctional family solution. Wanting to see grandkids for their birthday is not 'making it about themselves' or 'self-absorbed' either. It is normal family behavior.

Now, obviously if the schedule doesn't allow due to sports or other activities or whatever that is different. [/quote]

There is a big difference between wanting to visit on a kids birthday and expecting to visit to the point you are angry if plans aren't adjusted to include you. [/quote]

I guess but at the same time I don't see how having her parents there precludes a short visit from the ILs unless they just don't get along and in that case it is a whole other issue.[/quote]

NP. Do you see a “short visit” as them making a long drive (round trip “couple of hours away” driving); or staying overnight in a hotel; or staying overnight at OP’s house, when OP is already hosting overnight guests?[/quote]

Driving to and from their town the same day or staying in a hotel. Not that complicated. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics