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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son just finished his first year. He is kind of a politics nerd, super engaged in current events, intense and driven, academic type. Also sporty and social, but definitely not the stereotypical UVA happy-go-lucky work hard/play hard type. (When I asked, everyone on DCUM suggested he go to William and Mary last year :) )

He thought the idea of NOT going to UVA beecause he wasn't interested in frats was totally dumb and chose UVA. [b]I have to admit that I was surprised at how difficult the first half of the year was socially[/b]. What turned everything around second semester was joining the right club/activity for him. Once he did that, everything fell into place very quickly and he has been truly happy.

The frat/party/preppy scene is pretty dominant AND yes, of course, there are all types. Both are true. Maybe it was my son and a bit of bad luck, but in our experience it did take a structured activity/club for him to find close friends and his place there. For what it's worth, I had encouraged him to join activities immediately but I think that he had wanted to ease himself into college commitment-wise - I get that, after years of travel sports and extracurriculars taking over every free minute of the day, he wanted to operate at a different speed - and didn't join anything with a time commitment in the fall. But as a consequence, until he found his activity, I do think he felt somewhat isolated. After, and really quite quickly, he felt like he was part of a real group. Night and day.

So, my advice is to look for a club or activity that appeals and join immediately.[/quote]

This is not meant to be a knock, but what you’ve described here is a typical experience for a large number of college freshmen.  The difference is that most probably don’t tell their mothers.  [/quote]

You might be right. It is not the experience my husband and I had but we went to a college with a totally different culture. I think some people dismiss this kind of question simply because UVA is such a tough admit, especially for kids in Northern Virginia. I do think my kid would have had an easier transition socially at other schools (schools with a more political student body? maybe nerdier schools?) but, that said, he found friends and is very happy there.[/quote]

We are in state.  Two of our kids went to UVA.  Both were very mainstream - smart and well accomplished but not superstars, pretty, social, popular, etc.  Both were also political - stumping for Democratic candidates and volunteering with social justice organizations etc.  They have good memories of UVA and made lifelong friends but they don’t slobber all over the school to this day like some grads.  They’re pretty practical people, they chose UVA for practical reasons, and they’re the type that could have made any college work.

Our happily nerdy kid didn’t even apply, knowing it wouldn’t work for them - and it probably would not have.  They ended up choosing a top ranked liberal arts college over William & Mary after being offered merit aid.  No regrets there either.

Personally, I think a reasonably confident kid of any stripe would do fine at UVA, and that the most mainstream kids would be happiest. But isn’t that the way things always have been with 18-21 year olds?[/quote]

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