Reply to Is it reasonable to stop visiting ILs?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Definitely have the husband plan the trips. You can skip them and just send husband and kids, but also be prepared for the kids to not visit you if they find you boring as c you age.[/quote]

I will have hobbies and do things.  I'm not a couch potato [/quote]

Your hobbies might not be theirs. They may still find you boring.

Regardless, it only matters if you expect your children to visit even when they don't feel like it. If you don't do it, they won't either. That's ok; however, it's a choice.[/quote]

DP you seem to always be on this forum threatening everyone that if they don’t do whatever the olds want then they will be abandoned. It’s clearly a manipulative tactic on your part, pretty gross. If you could post a picture I bet your finger would be wagging.

IMO it’s actually the opposite anyway. If you drag your kids to visits where they are ignored, it’s painfully boring and everyone dreads those visits they will not grow up thinking they have a duty to suffer through it all over again with you. They will grow up with resolve that there’s no way I’m doing this! Each generation gets smarter and this idea that you should be miserable to appease an older person who neither tries, is grateful or is engaged is BS. [/quote]

It is not a threat. It is fact. I’ve gone low contact with family members. I am aware that there’s nothing stopping my children from going low-contact with me. [/quote]

DP - That's not what you are saying. You said: "If you don't do it, they won't either."

Children may or may not visit regardless of whether you visit frequently, occasionally, or never. "If you don't do it, they won't either" is not fact; it is a statement designed to manipulate. [/quote]

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