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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The fact he has to earn sex is not going to bode well. That is like him saying I will do more aroung the house every time you have sex with me. Using sex to manipulate and get what you want isn't a healthy relationship.

You guys should work with someone if you want this to last. I think your wants are excessive and your holding sex over his head as something he only gets if he earns it is really nasty.

Sex should be someone you both want together. You ant him to spend money on you and give you time alone - both things that are only about you. But all he gets in return is you will allow him access to your body if he spends enough money and leaves you alone for enough hours[/quote]

This is my take.  There is nothing wrong about wanting date nights.  DH and I make sure we have a couple a month.  But something about the way the OP is written just makes me think this won't end well. Making stuff transactional like this just never seems like a good idea.  He should want to have date nights and not just because he will get to have sex.  And she should want to have sex without him spending money on her.  [/quote]

Sorry if I’m not explaining it well. He doesn’t need to spend money to have sex. We have had a lot of sex before and some after baby that doesn’t involve date nights. I’m really craving that time together where I feel like ourselves. I don’t ever get dressed up now and I think getting dressed up and sexy for him will help with being in the mood. It’s not transactional. He doesn’t have to earn sex. I want this on top of giving him what he needs. [/quote]

I think you're giving him a lot of confusing singles.

"I want sex". Ok...I want to be wined and dined. I want to dress up and dress sexy and all that twice a month.  But no I don't actually need that to have sex. Even though I'm telling you that's what I need. .

I also need a day and a chunk of the weekend by myself without you and baby.

It's all a little confusing.  [/quote]

Sorry I’m all over the pain. I feel like my mind is overwhelmed these days.

Alone time: I don’t feel like I ever get alone time just by myself. I’m either working or tending to the baby or cooking and cleaning and spending time with hubby. I just want a good couple of hours to read a book or just relax by myself is read of always feeling like I’m needed.

Sex: We have had plenty of sex without date nights before baby. We have had sex 5 times since baby without date nights. We will continue to have sex without a date night.

Date night: I like the experience. He will get sex with it a date night, but I do enjoy the experience of a date night.

We feel like we are finally getting back to normal and voiced what we need. I’m happy to give him all the sex and quality time he needs to be satisfied, but I also want the alone time and date nights to also feel satisfied. I feel like I give and I give and just need to put my needs in front again.
[/quote]
I"m really not understanding how you don't get alone time with a three month old. They sleep a lot, they don't need constant supervision, put your baby in the playpen and read a book. Geez![/quote]

Well some babies are clingy like mine. He still likes to be held pretty much all day with only short spurts of play but he will cry if he doesn’t have any interaction.  [/quote]

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