Toggle navigation
Toggle navigation
Home
DCUM Forums
Nanny Forums
Events
About DCUM
Advertising
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics
FAQs and Guidelines
Privacy Policy
Your current identity is: Anonymous
Login
Preview
Subject:
Forum Index
»
Eldercare
Reply to "Getting over resentment"
Subject:
Emoticons
More smilies
Text Color:
Default
Dark Red
Red
Orange
Brown
Yellow
Green
Olive
Cyan
Blue
Dark Blue
Violet
White
Black
Font:
Very Small
Small
Normal
Big
Giant
Close Marks
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I watched my mom take care of many elderly relatives (her dad, my dad'd dad, a great aunt who was in a vegetative state for many years, another relative who refused to move from his hoarder apartment, and more. She always said, "you have to move before you need to." Fast forward 30-40 years, and guess who didn't move until it was too late? That's right, my mom. I think we all *think* we will do it right, and then we get there, and think we aren't that old, we aren't too old, and then we are and it's too late.[/quote] Exactly. I'm not there yet, but my best friend has a LOT of resentment towards her MIL for not moving out before she was incapacitated. She keeps saying she'd never do the same... but no one can know how their own judgement will be impaired when the time comes. The reality is that people get resentful because they are forced to work for free without even the small repayment of gratitude. That's what sticks in your craw. I totally get that, and when that happens to me, I will be resentful as well! But I hope to remember that a lot of seniors never move in time, and I might not either! [/quote] It's not so difficult. Start getting rid of your stuff way before the need arises, in your 50s. That's what I'm doing right now. My kids are in high school and I have tons of their clothes, shoes, sports equipment, toys... and what not in our garage. I just donated all their bicycles. I personally have been telling my parents for 40 years (yes, it was that obvious already when I was a teen) to get rid of some stuff (since their 2 garages and the summer house was already full of old clothes, equipment... and yes, the piano that I played as a child and nobody has touched since)... and guess what, they've done nothing. My grandparents definitely did not have so much stuff, I think it was very uncommon to accumulate things to such extent as there never was so much stuff to buy and people used to patch and repair the things they had (including clothing and remember shoe repair?, not to mention household appliances). Bottom line: it's not quite "nobody knows how their own judgement will be impaired when their time comes"... start getting rid of unnecessary things now, I can assure you, you have plenty! [/quote]
Options
Disable HTML in this message
Disable BB Code in this message
Disable smilies in this message
Review message
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics