Reply to H’s ADHD can’t be fixed. Now what?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Did he have ADHD when you started dating him? I'm sure he did. Why do all these women suddenly once they are married and have kids, suddenly act like they can no longer deal with the mentally ill man they married? This is really bizarre to me. It seems to me that y'all just wanted someone to have kids with and once you got that covered you n longer need them.[/quote]

Again, ADHD gets worse the more you burden the patient with tasks. So a young single who has yet to climb the ladder at work and rents an apartment can appear perfectly normal. 15 years later, his life can fall apart because he can't keep up with the house, the kids, and his more important job at work.

You should know this. Do better.

[/quote]

This is not clinically true. To actually be ADHD there are symptoms in childhood. It is not something that suddenly appears in adulthood. [/quote]

NP and what usually happens in these cases is that through HS the kids with undiagnosed ADHD have extremely supportive parents (usually their mom) and a family that unconsciously supports the kid’s executive functioning and attention deficits by saying things like kids shouldn’t do chores, and kids should focus on academics. College is great for some kids with ADHD because things like food are taken care of by dorm living, many people are messy so a disaster of a room doesn’t matter, and if they choose their courses wisely they can focus on one area that really stimulates them and go to class during times of day that work for them. First jobs are often also quite successful because when you’re low on the totem pole, a job is either rote and straightforward, or it’s very varied and with long hours that make it hard to fall off track because you’re responsible for working and sleeping.

My DH got to his late 20s before he realized that not everyone’s brain worked like his and not everyone struggled with the basics. Thank goodness he got tested for ADHD before we had kids.[/quote]

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