Reply to Including young adult not on good terms with in family vacation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can’t imagine leaving out one of my kids from a vacation, [b]even if they had dropped out of college (I don’t even see why that point would be relevant - it’s not like even a hard working 20 yr old could afford to join you on such a vacation)[/b]. If you are inviting and paying for your 4 other kids to go on this vacation, to me it is clear that you should be inviting and paying for this kid to go, too.

It sucks that this kid is prickly, it sucks that another one of your kids and this kid don’t get along. I’d focus on that last point. Is it possible for those two kids to go to a couple of therapy sessions together, for the sake of their relationship generally, not this trip specifically. Also I’d set clear expectations for behaviors before the trip happens, and don’t single out any one kid or cite old incidents. E.g., if someone is verbally rude, call them out on it at that moment. Don’t take sides. If there are shared rooms, have this middle child share with the younger siblings. [/quote]
It was relevant to me because we still financially support the children in college and therefore pay for their vacations with no question. The one who dropped out is self-supporting. 
For our family, if you're a student, we provide financial support.  That's pretty common.  They can stay on our health insurance for example, but not if they drop from school.  That's all.[/quote]

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