Reply to When someone asks a favor they should not ask

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You gotta tell us what the ask is [/quote]

I really can’t bc it’s too specific but it involves a very long drive and time away all bc they realized after the fact they can’t take care of it themselves. I could fix the problem but they have alternative ways to deal with it as well they don’t want to explore bc involving me would be less stressful to them. If I say no this will have repercussions for me and the person will remember and hold it against me.[/quote]

You have to not only get comfortable saying "no" but give her a look of shock for even asking. People who ask for major favors when you aren't close and you doubt they would do it for you are predatorial. Show her you aren't easy prey. You mention having to deal with her again and often, well better she learn now that you aren't easy bait. If you so it, I guarantee she won't appreciate it for long and the big asks will continue. I know the type well because before middle age I was easy prey. [/quote]

+1 OP, you need to practice this because you have to be ready to immediately respond this way when asked. Nip it in the bud right when they ask.

That said, it's hard to tell if that's what's happening here or not. I'm happy to do favors for people if it's not much extra work for me. For example, we picked up my kid's friend from school when picking up our kid last week, and took them to the event that we were taking our kid to anyway. There were no extra pick ups or driving, just an extra kid coming with us. I wouldn't have done it if my kid wasn't already going though.

If the friend is asking you to do an 8 hour drive that you don't have to do because you made other arrangements, then that's outrageously obnoxious to ask. If you're doing the drive anyway and they asked, then it sounds more reasonable to ask but it's also ok to say no. [/quote]

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