Reply to Disclosing pregnancy before start of a new job?

Forum Index » Expectant and Postpartum Moms

Reply to "Disclosing pregnancy before start of a new job?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do your employees who don't have children and won't be having any feel?  Do they get anything?[/quote]

Just the dubious distinction of being a 'team,player" doing the work of PAPs--Pregnant American Princesses--and receiving no extra compensation for doing the PAP's jobs while they take six months to bond with their offspring and complain about the difficulties of motherhood.

Doing the extra work does not end when the new mothers return to the office as they now need time to pump milk for the new crown princes/princesses as well as taking off more time for medical appointments coming in late and leaving early and spending inordinate hours on the telephone dictating orders to nannies or watching their prodigy sleep at daycare.

Those who, again, take up their slack still receive no extra compensation for doing two jobs!  Resentment? You bet![/quote]

Look - I get it. I was the 30 year old woman who had no PTO at a new job and was constantly covering for the parents at work who made twice my salary and I felt resentful. Years later I became a parent myself and I had a rude awakening about how hard it is to work and be a parent and how badly I needed the coverage I used to resentfully provide to others.

Just know this - the arc of life is long, and no one is immune from its challenges or suffering during their working years. Someday, you will need someone to cover you and pick up the slack. Maybe you’ll get cancer, or injured in a car accident, or break a hip, or get diagnosed with a chronic condition you’ve never heard of that requires treatment, time off and specialists. Or maybe your mom or dad will, or your brother will get in a car accident and become disabled, or you’ll have to become a caregiver to an elderly family member with dementia, or you’ll become disabled unexpectedly or have a mental health breakdown or need time off for a surgery, rehab, therapy, physical therapy, chemo, radiation, your dog will get sick, or your parent will become incontinent and end up in a nursing home after a stroke and the care will be awful and you’ll be torn between caring for them and working. Or you’ll need surgery or medical leave or a mental health break or some circumstance will arise that makes you a vulnerable human who needs PTO and not a capitalist robot who constantly produces. And you will be in the opposite position you are now and you’ll feel like a jerk, because the very people you were angry about who you covered for will now be the people you need help from to cover for you.

What I mean by this, is that everyone who works long enough has a time in their life when they need coverage from colleagues due to life circumstances. And your employer may not pay those employees for doing it, and you’ll know they are covering for you and feel badly about it and yet have zero control over their fair compensation. This is just life. So be a good sport, because someday you’ll be on the other side of the table and the world will look very different, and building goodwill from your colleagues instead of being an angry troll will pay dividends when the shoe is on the other foot. [/quote]

No one asks for cancer or the other dire circumstances you describe.  [b]Having a child is a choice and your choice inconveniences everyone you work with.  [/b]I have worked with two people who had cancer and they were very sick.   One died and the other is doing well
 There is a huge difference in doing the job of someone who is truly sick as opposed to someone who is just pregnant.  Don't bother with morning sickness excuse orc tired nonsense because both of those with cancer came into office after treatment.[/quote]

Well I certainly hope it’s not one YOU made! Your genes are terrible

And no, pregnant women and children don’t inconvenience you, old hag. It doesn’t sound like you belong in any civilized society. You’re free to leave! (Please do!)[/quote]

Actually, it’s not a choice for a lot of women. Especially now, when reproductive rights and access to contraception and abortion are growing more difficult by the day.

So what’s the solution then, anonymous person who is only alive because a woman once was pregnant with for 40 weeks and then gave birth to them? Person whose mother was pregnant with them and likely felt sick and crappy at various points in her pregnancy, person whose mother gave birth to them and labored and suffered to bring you into the world and put herself at great peril to do so, person who was once an infant who cried and pooped constantly and was completely vulnerable as an infant and caused sleep deprivation and exhaustion of your parents with your constant neediness? Person whose diaper was changed, who was nursed or given bottles, person who was fed, person who was once an infant, toddler, and young child, person who required constant care, attention, money, resources, education, teaching, discipline, and love to become a productive working member of society and did not not starve or die from neglect, accident, or lack of health care?

Do you want people to stop breeding? Do you want women to just stay at home and never work? Because without future generations - as you yourself once were - you will not have another generation of people to pay taxes that will cover your Medicare and Social Security. You won’t have the next generation of health care providers to look after you in your old age. You won’t have workers and able bodied people to care for your lawn and service your house and plow your driveway and fix your house and wait on you at restaurants. And later there will be no one to wipe you and give you your pills and bathe you and fix you meals when you’re in a nursing home or hospital without women now getting pregnant and giving birth to these future generations of workers. The entire American workforce only exists currently because women gave birth to them - each and every worker.

Are you really so dense as to not realize that women giving birth is the only reason we have a current workforce at all?

I’m sorry you are so myopic, angry, and small that you cannot see the interconnectedness of humanity, and how we are all dependent on each other, and we all have shared vulnerability in our lives that at times can tax others. Im sorry you hate women so much that you see pregnancy as a sole act of selfishness, instead of the reason we have a workforce at all. Newsflash - without pregnancy and birth we have no workforce and we have no society. Do you somehow forget that you were once an infant, whose vulnerability and need existed once, and that you were able to survive and thrive and become a worker solely because of a woman’s sacrifice to give life to you? I guess so.

I feel badly for you, and anyone you work with. You sound like a sad, angry, miserly, petty, ugly person. Someday the shoe will be on the other foot. Cancer, death, illness, decline and death of parents and self, etc. Life is long and suffering comes for us all. It sounds like you haven’t truly experienced this yet. So whenever it is, I hope for your own sake others treat you with more empathy and kindness in your hour of need than you ever gave to them and that someday you’ll see the selfish, sad error of your current thinking. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics