Reply to Help me learn what to think during major tantrums

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m late to this thread but you have my sympathy, OP. I am going to be real with you and advise you that some times you have to do the less bad thing. For me, when tantrums got to a certain level including hitting or throwing things it was taking my other child and locking us in another room. My child was simply not able to hear or respond to anything I had to offer at that time and it was SO hard for me to not yell back or so something else that escalated things. I would sit and coregulate with crying or a regular loud voice but not hitting or screaming.

I viewed these terrible times as surviving a storm and then rebuilding afterwards. It really wasn’t until they were calm that we could break down what was wrong, how the reaction affected others and how to make amends. Luckily my child was usually very remorseful later and would be open to talking after they had calmed down.

We did do parent training, which was helpful for a lot of things but didn’t really address the terrible tantrums super specific lit, although I think the approach I took generally aligned with what we learned.

That same child is now in late elementary and hasn’t had a tantrum or hit in years, thank god. 5 can be a really tough age, harder than toddlers in my experience.[/quote]

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