Reply to S/o meeting the ex-wife: what are the girlfriends thinking?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "S/o meeting the ex-wife: what are the girlfriends thinking? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Doesn't everyone in the adult dating pool have something that is considered baggage? My 6 closest guy friends are all married, but if they weren't I'd consider them awesome catches, but:
-One has an alcoholic dad who goes through cycles of needing support in treatment and such
-One has seasonal depression that can get dark a few months of the year
-One has a sibling with down syndrome they will have to care for or manage the care of when his parents pass away eventually
-One has an overbearing opinionated mother
-One has a job that will likely requrie 55 hour weeks forever
-One has a constant pain issue from a car accident that prevents him from doing overly strenuous activity and can flare up worse with damp weather.

But these guys are all high quality humans- kind, funny, communicative, smart, good incomes, etc.

Idk, my ex spouse had a complete mental breakdown which I faithfully tried to support them through for 5+ years before I needed to take care of myself and leave. It makes me sad to think if I fell in love again, people would advise them to run away from me based on an ex I can't control when I have so much goodness to give a partner.[/quote]

None of those things would impact your day to day life with a partner as much as him having young kids with another woman. And plenty of men with kids from a prior relationship ALSO have things like what you describe here. What you are listing is just life -- injuries, mental health issues, difficult family, challenging jobs. Sorry but if you are getting through life without a problem in one of those categories, you are just ridiculously lucky.

But kids are a totally different thing. It's every day, and it's forever. Plus it connects you to the ex-wife (or ex girlfriend) forever too, unless they are a widower. I actually can imagine marrying someone with kids and even enjoying that -- I love kids and I think I have the maturity level to be a decent step mom and to support a spouse in their relationship with kids they had before me. But the ex is a wildcard. Unless it's an amicable breakup and she's very cool, she could be a huge source of problems. And it's not someone you chose at all. It's like acquiring a really nightmare MIL but she has actual rights regarding people who live in your home.

A guy with young kids and an ex-wife would have to be really amazing and just absolutely perfect for me to marry him, whereas seasonal depression or challenging family obligations or a disability wouldn't really faze me. Everyone has something but not everyone has kids they are co-parenting with their ex.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics