Reply to What first made you suspicious that your spouse was having an affair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And many of these women chose to stay with these men.....I never cheated, never financially answer my ex wife, was a full 50% partner throughout our marriage and get she divorced me. My crime was that I was mostly working and was not emotionally supportive enough. Yet when I was around we still had sex, went on dates etc...

Some of the sh***t that these men put their wives through and still get second chances to me just show that it's very hard to know exactly what makes a woman finally leave. [/quote]

I’m a long time reader of this forum and many of these women describe their husbands as “perfect” pre-affair.

[b]My theory is that these men are living their life as a performance and they press down all their negative emotions until they come out in this explosive way- an affair, a mid life crisis, walking out.  But their wives were deeply in love with that sweet, generous performance and will forgive it.  I’ve seen this play out in real life.[/b]

A lot of these men compartmentalize in a way that healthy, otherwise imperfect people don’t.  But spouses don’t appreciate that.  I hope you find someone who appreciates you pp.  I’m sure your wife will realize she lost a good partner.[/quote]

Whoa. This feels like what I’m living right now. But I’m wrestling with how he played the role of doting husband for so long… and just WHY? I honestly believed he was happy with family life. I would never want someone to perform for me like that. [/quote]
Because he’s not mentally healthy.[/quote]

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