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[quote=Anonymous]If you are planning a potential future with him and want to have a relationship with his children I would meet with her. She may or may not be emotionally healthy but you can honor yourself and your own boundaries.

If my partner and I were to split up I would appreciate meeting someone important to him to help my kids make the transition. Also if he was introducing our children to new women often it would be destabilizing so I kind of understand the request. After a year though I’d be comfortable meeting his new person before or after the kids.

Many divorces take years to unravel the trauma and let go of old relationship patterns.  They were married and now not. She may or may not be a kook (driving past the house and texting is not something I’d like an ex to do).

It’s worth a quick hello coffee to let her know you aren’t trying to replace her and you understand your role is not to parent the kids. It’s not a topic I’d avoid though I’d be prepared for what my own viewpoint is and how to be neutral with her. Form your own perspective here rather than just by going by what your boyfriend shares. And I’d not feel obligated to do it again or stay if it goes sideways. Be prepared. Stay calm. Know how you feel about this before meeting up. And I don’t think he needs to be there. That would feel like a gang up. 2-1. If you hit it off maybe another meeting all three of you or introducing kids together. Try to stay casual. Don’t preload things. [/quote]

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