Reply to DH always gets “sick” when there’s work to do

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Call him out. Tell him you see the pattern that he is conveniently sick whenever he has an adult responsibility to handle and you're not accommodating it any longer.  And he needs to cancel his mom's visit because you're not carrying the water for that. [/quote]

His response was “I can’t help it if I’m sick. You act like it’s my fault.”

It feels like he is using this as an ironclad get-out-of-jail-free card because if I ask a sick person to step up then I’m an inconsiderate jerk.[/quote]

Then you make it a part of the plans in advance. Figure out the MIL thing this time however you can (you suck it up and do it, or you realize you have to postpone it, whatever works better for you), but change things for next time.

His mother wants to come again? You make plans but insist on a backup plan "if he gets sick."
You have a home project to do? Make sure there is a backup plan "if he gets sick." 
You are going on vacation with the kids? Know what the plan is -- also -- for "if he gets sick."

Maybe everything gets prep work done two weeks in advance instead of two days. Maybe the plan is that you pay someone else to do it. But the backup plan can't always be that you do all the work.

You don't have to be mean or condescending about it. But if there is a pattern, then it needs to be tackled differently. [/quote]

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