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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You know, most kids want their parents around. It’s not just about need. Teens less so but they do appreciate there being a net if they need it. [/quote]

It’s often possible to find a job that allows you to be home in the late afternoon when kids are getting home. It’s important to be around for kids but that doesn’t preclude working.
For OP, is it possible to cut your hours or find something more part time? [/quote]

DH has a very demanding job that also pays a lot. We have three kids in three different schools with different schedules, breaks and holidays. Between my last drop off and first afternoon pick up, I have 5 hours. I am not saying you can’t work. Of course you can. It is just a lot easier to juggle 3 kids if there is a stay at home parent. Every family dynamic is different. DH earned 10x what I earned. Now he makes even more. We don’t need my income.[/quote]

It’s not always about income though. We don’t need my salary but I enjoy the intellectual challenges in my job and interacting with people in the same field as me. It makes me feel that there is more to me than just being a mother and a wife. [/quote]

I actually think that is ideal if you have a spouse who can/will pull weight at home. Yes I guess I should have “chosen better” but it’s really hard to know when you are 24. If I worked, I’d either have to do everything at home or let things fall through the cracks. DH would not pick up any slack. I know because if I’m sick or need to be out of town, he does the absolute bare minimum. He’s a good kind person and earns a high income, but not at all comfortable with the “emotional” aspect of parenting (and we have girls) and doesn’t see any issue leaving the kitchen a mess, doesn’t notice any dirty laundry until he’s out of underwear, doesn’t see dust bunnies in the corners of the wood floor, stuff like that. Also couldn’t tell you a kid’s clothes or shoe size or teacher’s name to save his life. [/quote]

That’s setting a bad example for your children of what to expect from a spouse. There is division of labor, which I get, but your spouse has taken it to another level. I guess that I can also understand how someone who is truly overwhelmed and preoccupied by work wouldn’t have the bandwidth to notice all the things you listed.

OP- Do what you have to do right now. This doesn’t have to be a lifelong choice you lash yourself to. My oldest just finished K (she just turned 6) and she learned how to read basic books by late September. She had a lot of pre-literacy in PK, but I wasn’t teaching her how to read. I do homework with her at night (math, reading, dictation and encoding, and composition) for max 30-45 minutes and do that while cooking dinner and watching my 1 and 3 year old. Maybe my experience isn’t the norm, but I don’t think you need to teach your child to read. They should be learning at school and you should be reinforcing at home. [/quote]

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