Reply to Why do women always get mad at the other woman?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Having been into a married man, I can tell you that sometimes it just comes down to chemistry. That's why I liked him. But, yes, I did realize that any man who does that to his wife is a pig and that there was no way it could last or go anywhere with him. Still, it was immensely enjoyable while it lasted bc at heart, I did like him as a person overall and we had a lot of that aforementioned chemistry. [/quote]

In my situation, I was married and he was married.  We were friends first.  Something between us just evolved over time.  He was in a bad place in his marriage.  I just saw an otherwise good person who needed a friend.  From that friendship developed a sexual attraction and chemistry.  It was unclear when that line was crossed.

Do I think he was a pig though?  No.  I think we both got something from each other that was missing from our lives at the time.  [/quote]

At the expense of your marriage and no doubt hurtful to the other spouse. I call bullshit on getting something that was missing from your lives. It is entitlement. Sometimes being an adult means struggling through something. Marriage means when you go through crap hard times you work it out, do the work, and lean on your family and real friends, not someone in the opposite sex who also is in a fucked up marriage that you become attracted to. This is bullshit. If you can't work it through with your spouse, divorce is an option. Having an affair doesn't solve anything in the long run. It's a short term escape.[/quote]

How the hell do you get off passing judgement?  You have no idea about our situations or the outcome.  Life is a journey.  People take different paths than others sometimes.  Must be nice sitting high in your ivory tower clutching your pain like a shield.  I lived my life and loved more than one man.  Did I set out to hurt other people?  No.  Did my husband and I intend to grow apart with time?  No.  Did his wife and him intend on reaching a place in their marriage that they hated each other?  No.

Sometimes you can't choose love, it chooses you.  Timing is rarely perfect. .[/quote]

Nice cliche. Whatever helps you sleep at night. And yeah, I do judge. It's not "love" when two people are going through shitty times in their marriages which they are 50% of by the way. I have a cliche for ya, it takes two to tango, two people to screw up a marriage. Rather than fix what you made, just on to the next thing right! I'm sure your kids totally understand. And your families too.[/quote]

Honestly, I think it takes two people to make a marriage work and only one to screw it up.  Maybe the one was my husband who emotionally and physically starved me for years.  Maybe the one was the other guys wife who treated him with total disrespect and was a complete bitch (kind of like some of the PPs).  The affair was just a symptom of how disconnected we were from our marriage.  We both couldn't stay like that forever.  Either way, we found each other and made each other happy and it was a major wake up call for both of us.  No regrets.  Nothing I would have undone.  My kids still love me and his kids still love him.  They understand the issues we were having had nothing to do with them and we are still their parents and love them very much.

It's easy to target the other person.  What you really should be asking is what is going on between you and your spouse that allowed the other person in.[/quote]

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