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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this "date night" thing is strictly American. I'm from Europe and no parents do date nights. Family is about raising kids and kids come first until they're old enough to manage themselves. In other words the amount of help decreases as the kids get older. People rarely spend time as a couple, but spend time in groups of extended families. And then once kids are older I don't put my husband first, I put myself first. As a person, an individual. American society is overly focused on sex, it's almost like there's nothing else interesting in life except sex. [/quote]

I'm American but this is how we do it. I think date night was invented by wealthy Americans because to me the idea of spending money on an evening babysitter just to go out alone with my spouse, when I could spend some time alone with my spouse after the kids go to bed, is nonsensical. But I'm middle class and have a million things I'd rather spend money on than babysitters.

And yes, as a mom in particular, as my kids get older, my focus is on myself. Moms needs to reclaim ourselves as our kids gain independence. My DH doesn't need me to focus on him -- he's an adult!

I also don't get the thing about needing to "stay connected." Your are married, you are raising kids together. You see each other daily, presumably sleep in the same bed. Of course we are connected. How would a date night change that? Can you only talk to your spouse when your children are in a different location? That's weird.[/quote]

Curious on how long you’ve been married? I’m Asian and have been married for over 25 years. Husband is not Asian. I thought a lot like you and the other Asian American poster. However, I have come around to seeing the importance of finding ways to stay connected as a couple that is different than being a team conquering your household. [/quote]

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