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[quote=Anonymous]OP I posted before and have an emotionally abusive mother. The thing is I dealt by being as independent as possible and it helped. From an early age I joined many clubs and sports to be out of the house. I worked summers in college so I could live away from her. She resented it and shamed me, but it it's not as painful when you are not in the same house.

I had to learn radical acceptance. It stinks. Many people don't get it. I cannot change her. It's unfair, but ultimately I am in charge of my future and happiness. I was very careful in who I married so as not to repeat patterns and I broke the cycle of abuse with my own kids.  I still feel sadness and hurt (and she is even nastier with age). You are allowed to mourn the parent you never had.

Just remember nobody is coming to rescue us so we have to save ourselves and be our own hero. Put on your cape and fly off to an independent life. Build a life that brings you joy. Resilience is a beautiful thing. You can have a good life even with an abusive parent, but you have to stop expecting her to change or accept you. You can do this. Build that life![/quote]

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