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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell us more about things youre not allowed to use or eat in her home, and we will tdll you whether its over the top and time to run.[/quote]

She is sensitive to scents and likes the s tire house to be mostly scent free or limited. No candles, no air fresheners,
bo harsh cleaners, switched my laundry detergent to dye free and got rid of the frantic softener. Told me to switch out my old spice or dove products for cleaner ones. Bought me a care package with said items she prefers.

She is very clean unless in the bathroom. She leaves all her products all over the sink.

She believes in all organic eating. I eat healthy but don’t care what is organic and what isn’t. Our grocery bill has sky rocketed because of it. She wants me to cut back on red meat, no alcohol, and drink super nasty stuff like beet juice and these health drinks. [/quote]

My now-husband and I had a big conflict when it came to air fresheners and that sh**. I HATE it - it triggers my allergies and I think it's disgusting. Luckily he was willing to compromise there.

I'm DEFINITELY not some tiktok clean living person - but those products do have endocrine disruptors you might want to avoid: https://www.mdpi.com/2673-396X/5/3/27[/quote]

DP I'm not as hardcore as your girlfriend, but I dealt with a chronic health condition that meant I had to cut out a lot of common household and hygiene products due to the endocrine disruptors/estrogenic chemicals. I am also very sensitive to scents. I think a lot of this depends on how she brought it up. If someone explained their health issues and said they would prefer switching to scentless products, that's a change I can't imagine most people wouldn't make on behalf of their partners. Right? It's not like giving up a pet or seeing your friends and family or even changing your work hours. It's a product, for goodness sake. One works as well as the other.

The eating -- I eat healthy myself (maybe not as healthy as your girlfriend, but I prefer organic for similar reasons as the above). I would personally cook whatever my partner liked to eat and try not to rag him on his habits because they are his. Again, I think it really depends how it's done. If she's being really harsh/judgmental or not willing to hear why you don't want to drink juice all the time that's one thing. If she's cooking and shopping healthier and you are passively consuming it all while being secretly resentful and feeling controlled, that's on you. Relationship depends on both people being willing to speak up about their needs in a way that strengthens the bond.

My overall take on this is that you're probably a dismissive avoidant. You have a pattern of fault-finding in relationships to shield yourself from intimacy. You are finding faults in this woman to try and get out of the relationship. You are secretly afraid that if she gets to know you she will judge and reject you, and so you're projecting both the judgmental quality and the faults on her before she can do it to you. Why do I think this? 1) you're focusing on relatively minor things to give yourself an excuse to break up with her, 2) you're 34 and divorced, so this ain't your first rodeo; you let her move in and now you're having cold feet, 3) you're posting on a messaging board about her faults instead of trying to find a way to talk with her and work with her to resolve this together, which is what you would do if you really wanted things to work.

You need to decide if you want to be alone or in a relationship. What do you want your life to look like twenty, thirty years down the line? [/quote]

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