Reply to How to stop being so frugal/cheap?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just because you have the money doesn't mean you need more crap. We have plenty of money, high income, and are minimal-ish. (I don't say minimalist because true minimalists would laugh.)

I hate wasting money but have no problem paying a reasonable price (after shopping around and also waiting to confirm it's not an impulse purchase.) $25 for a water bottle because you or kid literally do not have a water bottle? No problem! $25 for a water bottle because the color is cute or a new brand is trendy now, NO.

I don't pay brand premiums for lululemon, fancy sephora makeup, I don't buy $150 sneakers, etc.

If you truly NEED something and can afford it, you won't feel guilty. You feel guilty because you don't actually need it and therefore it is a waste of money. [/quote]

Except that a cute whatever can make you happy - not happy in the existential sense, like there's no more problems in the world. But I absolutely have cute things that make me smile every time I use them. I think that's worth something. If you don't that's fine - but I don't consider these things to be necessarily wasteful.

There are ways to cut back. Put stickers on a water bottle to make it cuter or whatever. But if you have the money and the space - and the desire - I don't see what is wrong with liking nice things.[/quote]

It's obviously fine from a financial perspective if you can afford it and have the storage space. But, I and I ask this sincerely and without malice, have you ever stopped to question WHY "cute things" make you temporarily happy? We are guilty of falling for marketing. You are told overtly and subliminally that these "cute things" will make you look cute, feel good, etc. It has been ingrained in you. It's not that some random shirt actually makes you "happy" - it's just dopamine. [/quote]

You say "just dopamine" like that doesn't count for anything? Yes, I do think about why these things make me happy. It makes me happy to wear a dress I enjoy; it makes me happy to have a house that I enjoy looking at - art that catches my eye even years after I've bought it. I don't have spendy taste - whcih is lucky because I don't have a spendy budget - but even when I was super broke I liked to buy pieces of art ($25 sometimes; $400 sometimes) because it really does make me feel good to look around my house and see these things. We got nice plates for our wedding 15 years ago and every day we use them, and I still love them. I don't think it's nuts to feel like part of building a life for yourself, is surrounding yourself with things that give you pleasure.

I'm sure every one of your bank accounts is better than mine. But it seems so impossibly grim to say that you will pay $20 for jeans once every two years and that's the limit to how you'll enjoy the clothes you put on yourself.

It's fine if you don't get anything out of pretty things. And certainly we have problems with overconsumption - financial problems, environmental problems. But there is nothing virtuous about being immune to beauty and pleasure. [/quote]

I have a lovely wardrobe and home. You can have these things without a constant need for shopping and “updating.” No one is asking you to live in a shoebox. But my day to day life does not involve consumerism beyond groceries. There are lots ways to find “happiness” and dopamine without spending money. Sex, good conversations, time spent in nature, with your family, children, pets, helping others, etc. [/quote]

That means at some point you did enough shopping to have your "lovely wardrobe and home" - so if you've reached a point where you can say, I have everything I need and I only want what I need, then sure. But lots of people wear our clothes out, or change sizes, or would like to feel fresh for an event, or whatever. You aren't more virtuous because now you like to f**k and go out in nature instead of finding the perfect dress.

That's what I hate about these "I'm soooo frugal" things. Yeah sure today you're frugal because you spent enough last year to get you through.

If you bought enough deodorant last year not to need it now, then great! I like to stock up, too. But if you need a new stick of fricking deodorant, just buy the deodorant![/quote]

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