Reply to MIL move in to memory care next week- advised to lie to her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You would never leave your young child in a place that didn't allow you to check on them at will. Why would you leave an equally vulnerable elder with no checks for a week?

I have seen amazing care in relatively spartan SNFs with a lot of medicaid beds, and I've seen bad stuff in very pricey facilities, and the other way around. It doesn't matter how good you think they are, or how good they were last month. Things change. Someone needs to be watching carefully, because unfortunately you just cannot trust "the facility."[/quote]

Most daycares and preschools do not want parents just showing up during the day to visit with their kid.  Why?  Because it's distracting to that kid and all the others.  So while they may say "you can stop by and visit" for the first few months, they dont' really want you to.  The kid needs to get used to their routine.

I say this as a parent of a kid who cried like the world was coming to an end at drop-off for preschool.  By the time I pulled out of the driveway, the tears were wiped away, big smile and kid was happily playing.  (this was confirmed to me by parents who dropped off after me).  My kid was just a good manipulator and knew from age 9 months how to turn on the tears for effect and off when they got what they wanted (we tested it with a cookie one time at about 10 months----tears stopped in 2 seconds and kid went to immediately happy and cheerful when given the damn cookie).  
I knew my kid was safe, I knew they were just a big manipulator and were happy once I left.  Had I kept stopping back during the day, the same scenario would have happened, disrupting everyone at school as well.

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