Reply to MIL move in to memory care next week- advised to lie to her

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They know what typically works for most and what helps the transition go more smoothly. They also know many will be unable to heed the advise, and make the transition much more difficult for all involved. [/quote]

They're trying to make their own jobs easier by lying to a patient. It's deeply unethical. [b]There's no way I would lie to my loved one, even if she had dementia.[/b]  I would also visit as I felt necessary.  I would start my regular, planned visitation schedule and get into a routine. [/quote]

Let me guess -- you're someone who will keep correcting their parent with dementia, and making sure they understand exactly the truth of what is going on. Because that's what good people do, instead of any shade of lying.[/quote]

My 90 year old mother thinks her brother, who died when I was in high school, is still alive.  I tried to correct her once and she cried as though he had just died that day.  By this logic, not lying to her, should I keep correcting her when she asks when Arnold is coming to visit by saying "Oh, he isn't.  He's dead."  We usually just say "In a little while, he's having car trouble."  It seems like lying to her is a lot less cruel than telling her every fifteen minutes that her brother is dead.[/quote]

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