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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I wanted to thank those of you who took the time to respond, especially the very lengthy and helpful responses from women going through something similar.  I will start figuring out how to get an attorney and find the $$ to pay for it.  [b]It is hard to hear that his deceit will mean nothing in our divorce.  [/b]My primary concern is getting as much custody as I can.  I want DCs to have a good relationship with their father but he is largely absent as a dad, always has been, and apparently has been using his frequent business travel as an opportunity to cheat w various women.  He is the type that will insist on 50-50 custody for appearances sake but he has no real interest in taking care of young children and will farm them out to a nanny or worse.[/quote]

OP, you are 100% right for feeling this way BUT it will serve you best to let it go. I would get into therapy if you're not already. Your OP is very strong and assertive but you're likely going to experience a whole lot of lows over the next several years (and maybe forever). A professional would be able to help you with that.

I didn't have kids with my ex but I had to pay him alimony because I out-earned him. He did NOTHING to help me earn that money - I went to grad school, I paid for all of my education, I put in the work, and he sat on the couch (which is why I divorced him). I even cleaned the house, cooked, and took care of the dog. And yet I still had to pay him because that was the law. Being angry about it didn't change the outcome, so I refused to let it hold me back. I hope you can do the same.

I'm really sorry for what you're going through. I hope you have good friends and family you can lean on. [/quote]

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