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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have two sons and completely understand that whomever they marry will likely control access to our sons and grandkids, so we will make it a point to be good in-laws.

Our plan is to move near one when they have kids (and then rent near the other if needed) so we can be helpful.  We hope they live somewhere fun/cool/warmish.[/quote]

This is so sad. Control access? I wouldn’t want to live my life at the mercy of someone else[/quote]

That’s just the facts.  You can bury your head in the sand and never see your kids or grandkids or you can wake up and understand how the world works.

[/quote]

The world only works like this because of the ingrained misogyny in us all that the mom is responsible for the kids and the social calendar. Raise your sons to understand that they should do 50/50 with respect to the kids and that they need to manage a social calendar, and you are much less likely to have an issue. My husband handles all stuff with his family and he is great at it. He remembers birthdays and holidays and gets gifts/cards. He communicates with his parents and brothers regularly. All of the brothers coordinate stuff. For example, my BIL just reached out and scheduled Easter lunch for everyone at a restaurant and even asked if I would like to invite my dad. This stuff was modeled to them and they all do it. They are all men who were raised staunch Republican, freewill Baptists (which is pretty strict). Yet all three boys seem way more feminist to me than most of the men out there that beat their chests about being feminist. And they all vote democrat now (which isn’t the point but cracks me up). Their dad modeled all kinds of kindness and participation in family life. He was a good man.[/quote]

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