Reply to Moms with older sons - do you still get to see them often?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have two sons and completely understand that whomever they marry will likely control access to our sons and grandkids, so we will make it a point to be good in-laws.

Our plan is to move near one when they have kids (and then rent near the other if needed) so we can be helpful.  We hope they live somewhere fun/cool/warmish.[/quote]

You sound like you're still on the young side. Do you not have connections to your current city? Will you be completely dependent on your sons and their families for your social life? [/quote]

Not at all…just don’t have my head up my ass like you.

We can easily make friends wherever we go through adult sports leagues and hobbies.
[/quote]

I wasn't at all trying to be contentious. I was asking only in that we are in a similar situation and I completely agree with you that we are at the mercy of our sons' spouses for how much we are involved. And we too plan to be accommodating and helpful grandparents. We have money to provide support, as well. We will be who they want us to be, in essence. We're just trying to figure out what that looks like, especially since it isn't likely that our DSs will ever live in the same city. So when you said buy a house near one and rent near another, does that in itself cause problems, sort of thing.

It's all just new to us in terms of how to approach since we currently live in our hometown, where all our extended family lives. I don't want to cut off those relationships that mean a lot to me, only to have a DIL feel that we are encroaching on their lives, no matter how hard we try to be agreeable. The other issue that we've thought about is that given their ages, it's a decent possibility that their careers will take them to other cities. So I'd hate to move to some city to live near them, only to have them move some place else.

I'm thinking out loud. But again, I was not being contentious. You are just someone thinking about the same things we are in a way you don't often see on DCUM.[/quote]

OK, sorry.

We plan on two moves...one move for say a decade (our kids are in 20s) to a place that a 20-year old would want to visit...somewhere warm or possibly a resort/ski type area.  Once at least one of the kids seems established, then start talking about moving near them.

I agree with you that if either/both seems to move around a ton, and that won't end, then we need to reconsider the plan...other than we are more than happy to rent an AirBnB for months at a time if our help is wanted.[/quote]

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