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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is your coworker actually interested in you or 1. are they just bored at work or 2. do they need you for something work related?[/quote]

OP. It’s really a combination of all 3. He’s nearly 10 years younger so I know he doesn’t take any of it seriously. It’s a lot of flirting and talking about our lives.

For sure it’s boredom on both of our parts. We both WFH so we get bored and lonely. We both help each other out with work stuff.

For the record I don’t expect this is going to lead to me leaving H and he and I ride off into the sunset. Like I’m very clear I’m not blowing up my kids’ lives and he’s very clear he plans on settling down and having his own kids. It’s more like, I’m lonely in my marriage, he’s lonely because he focuses so much on work he doesn’t date, we vibe, so we talk and flirt a lot. [/quote]

OP I responded very early in your thread and now that you have added more details I can tell you that I have been in virtually the EXACT same situation as you:

unhappy marriage long term
11 year younger guy
WFH, both pretty bored and entertaining each other during the day
both pretty lonely and in a bad place
hours long conversations

Please, please, please don't do anything with this dude.  Back off.  This was several years ago but in retrospect I am SO EMBARRASSED of my behavior even though my other coworkers don't seem to have noticed anything and it never got past a "close friendship."  Nothing really happened.  I was crushing so hard on this guy and I realized later it wasn't reciprocated, I was just very lonely and he was just friendly/flirty and a young dude with nothing better to do.  I don't know what he thought of me, I know we were friends, but it was definitely more meaningful to me than it was to him.  It was sort of my dream that this guy had a crush on me.  Ugh.  So embarrassing.  Just drop it and keep things friendly and professional.  Please!  I am cringing just thinking about it!!![/quote]

Would it have changed anything if he DID have crush back ?[/quote]

Umm I can’t be sure that he did or didn’t because we didn’t have some conversation about it THANK GOD.  I think he did like me, the way you like an attractive older colleague who is married and essentially off limits.  He had a pretty good character and I don’t think it occurred to him that anything was really possible.

Flirting with a guy who is 11 years younger get than you while you are married is embarrassing.  You just need to really absorb that, OP.  Just because no one else is around to hear you doesn’t make it less embarrassing.[/quote]

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