Reply to Does anyone else feel that trying g to be a nice person has not benefited them?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve found the best way is to reverse things - I start off with extremely strict boundaries, and as people show they can respect them, I loosen them up and become nicer. If they don’t respect boundaries, I just enforce them and am never “nice”.

I own a business and have found I have to be this way with all men and Type A women. If I’m accommodating at the beginning, they learn they can talk me into things and it will never end. [/quote]

Type A women are so tough. I actually do fine with men -- I learned to stand up to them a long time ago because my dad is a jerk and I have multiple brothers. I don't take sht from men.

Women who are very controlling, especially if done in a friendly, passive-aggressive way, have been a huge challenge for me. I find you have to assert your boundaries and keep reasserting them over and over and over. It's really exhausting.

There are a lot of women like this in DC.[/quote]

I have had the same issue with some women in the workplace and of course they tend to be in leadership position. It is very challenging. My current boss is like that and I try to picture calm and efficient competence that cannot be rattled. I give minimal smiles and limit my input to facts and solutions without trying too hard or seeming eager to please. Anything I do that is nice/above and beyond gets turned against me in some way so I don't do this anymore.[/quote]

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