Reply to My husband died from alcoholism

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "My husband died from alcoholism"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wanted to share my story in case it helps someone else. My husband passed away four months ago at 48 years old. He had struggled with alcohol in the past, but I truly thought he had it under control. What we initially thought was a stomach bug escalated so quickly—within days, he was in full liver and kidney failure. Weeks later, I found several vodka bottles hidden in his boots, closet, and car. It turns out he had been secretly drinking a ridiculous amount of liquor. He was still working full-time and doing all the things he always did. It seems like his body was hanging on by a thread, but eventually, it just couldn’t take it anymore.

He leaves behind two children who will now grow up without a father. From the outside, everything seemed perfect—he had a great job, a nice home, and so many friends and colleagues who cared about him. No one suspected how bad things really were, including me.

I’m feeling so many emotions—grief, anger, guilt, disbelief. I had considered leaving him in the past, but like I said, it seemed like things were getting better. Through talking to addiction counselors, I learned that it was more likely end-stage alcoholism. His body had become so dependent on alcohol that he didn’t even get drunk.

If you suspect a loved one is drinking in secret, please don’t ignore those instincts. I just wish I had known. I had no experience with alcoholism or addiction. [/quote] Thank you for posting. My heart breaks for you.  A close friend's dad died from this kind of alcoholism around the same age as your husband, same thing - very successful in his field and left behind two adolescent children and a ton of empty vodka bottles stashed all over the house.

I'm sober now. My drinking was blatant and I didn't try to hide it but I've heard many, many stories from people in AA who hid their drinking pretty successfully until they couldn't.  In the end I knew my drinking was going to kill me and I was somehow able to stop. I think it's a crap shoot, just like with smoking. This kind of alcohol abuse kills some but not all.

I don't know a lot about AlAnon but I wonder if it could be helpful to you. Friends tell me that like AA not all AlAnon groups are the same. You are also welcome to attend any open AA meeting (meeting guides will tell you whether they are open or closed - closed meetings are only for people who identify as alcoholics).  Thank you for your post. Please don't blame yourself. There is literally not a thing anyone can do to help an alcoholic if they are not ready/able to get help. It's an awful disease and I'm sorry it took your husband.[/quote]

But is it really hidden? I've had coworkers act completely bipolar that I'd believe were alcoholics.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics