Reply to I told my daughter a prom dress looked unflattering on her... mistake or no?

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Reply to "I told my daughter a prom dress looked unflattering on her... mistake or no?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That's not very kind.  You can't take that back[/quote]
I don’t understand what OP did wrong. She said the dress was unflattering. That’s a criticism of the dress, not her dd. We’ve all seen a dress that looked great on the hanger, but once we put it on, we realized the proportions were off or the cut was all wrong on us or it didn’t drape the way we thought it would or the color washes us out or the sleeves are weird, etc. Why is it unkind to admit that it’s not as flattering as the other choices?[/quote]
I’m this poster. I actually talked to my 17 year old dd about this post. She said that to teenage girls, the phrase, “that isn’t flattering,” is code for “you look fat in that.” I told her I would never say she looked fat in something, even if, hypothetically, she did (dd isn’t overweight). If I say it’s not flattering, I mean the color, the cut or some odd detail on the dress, and dd told me that if that’s what I mean, I need to mention those things specifically, because all a teenage girl hears when you say something is not flattering is that they look fat. She also said that OP’s comment may have come at a particularly inopportune time because something else that OP didn’t even know about may have just happened that had chipped away at her dd’s self esteem, making her dd particularly vulnerable in that moment.[/quote]

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