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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wonder when parents like OP will understand that they are sending the message that their kids are incompetent and need mommy to “do more” for them and take charge. It is a main reason (along with social media) for the rise in teen and youth anxiety and mental health issues. 
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IMO, it's not about incompetence, but the lack of motivation and understanding about how competitive colleges are these days, and how the parent has gone through college (most of the cases) while the child has not.[/quote]

DP. This can be said about each subsequent generation. My parents did not take charge of my college process other than requiring me to apply to at least one state school. Yes, colleges are more competitive; but they were also more competitive when I was applying than when my parents went.
I agree with the PPP that the way we parent is sending messages to our kids that they are not as capable. I believe our schools give them that message as well all the time: with the constant unnecessary reminders of things like attendance is important (how about stopping those messages IN school to the kids who ARE there every day and direct them to families whose kids are absent?); with lowering of expectations to the lowest common denominator; by giving them multiple attempts and almost endless deadlines for assignments - we know you're going to need more than one try!; etc.
And our kids know that if they don't do it, their parents will ultimately do it or make sure it's taken care of....they always do because they don't want their kid to fail or miss out.[/quote]

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