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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is okay to want a trip with just your friend and to be willing to pay for that trip. You do not need to participate in that other birthday trip. You can also do both. But they are not the same trip. Better to distinguish them in your mind.

The other trip could be really fun but will definitely be more unweildy. You may be the one person who is only close with the birthday friend. That can be fun or not depending on the other friends. You know yourself. Decide what you are up for. [/quote]

My friend is newly divorced and this is her 50th birthday. She has not done anything for herself for a long time and this trip was planned with my urging (and offering to pay).

Everyone lives in a different city or country. Everyone has a different budget and preference. Now people are adding work conflicts and kid birthdays. I am beginning to think this trip isn’t even going to happen. I have just been quiet.[/quote]

Sorry OP— you are trying to do a nice thing. The more people you add, the more unwieldy it’s going to get. I would also just stay quiet and hope it flames out. [/quote]

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