Reply to What to say to flakey friend?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What to say to flakey friend? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry to upset the cowards on this thread, but if you "slow fade" your friend for being flaky, you're a crappy friend yourself.

Tell people what upsets you. Seriously. It's not that hard. Sneaking out the back door because you've never bothered to acquired confrontation skills makes you the flaky friend: you are flaking on the conversation that obviously needs to happen here. Not saying it's resolvable, but you need to use your words and say "Hey, this is upsetting to me. When you bail after making plans, I feel _______". It's also part of being a good friend to yourself. Advocate for your needs.

The slow fade needs to die the coward's death it deserves, along with "ghosting" and all this other low-integrity nonsense we're slipping into. Do better.[/quote]

Ok so you use your words. Your flakey friend gets upset and is in denial that she is in fact a flake. So instead of the slow fade, your friendship ends with a fight.  Is that an improvement?[/quote]

If you have a direct conversation about your feelings, using "I statements" and keeping it about how you feel (not who/how they are), and your "friend" responds with a fight, yes, that's better than a "slow fade" because you both know exactly who you are, where you stand, and why.

You're out a "friend" who wasn't, and they're out a real one because they aren't. [/quote]

I am too tired to have fights or even potential fights.  I’m so sorry I don’t live up to your standards.[/quote]

If you're chronically whinging in victimese like this to your real friends, I can see why the keep bailing on you. If you're "too tired" you can just not. You don't have to leave your drama droppings as evidence.[/quote]

No not all my friends, just one.  But you seem awfully defensive.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics