Reply to How/why do people have a second (or more?!?!) child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is obviously an individual choice that is based on a myriad of different factors.  In our case having three has been great.  [b]I’m my experience the best thing you can do for your child is to give them siblings.[/b] Also parenting is like everything else you get better with experience.  We are much better parents for a third kid than we were for our first.  Good luck.  [/quote]

This is an INSANE thing to say. I'm sure many people are happy to have siblings. But many are neutral to negative on it, and there are tons of other things I think are more important to provide a child with than a sibling. Like love and support and a safe home and an education and a sense of belonging. A sibling could be part of that (or, in another family, could actively get in the way of providing those things) but siblings are NOT the most essential thing you can give a child. That's bananas.[/quote]

You’re quite a literalist aren’t you?  If someone says to you “ see you later alligator”  do you correct them and let them know that you are indeed not an alligator?

If by “best thing” you meant the most “essential thing” - I would imagine that the answer would be oxygen. Oxygen is the most essential thing for a child.

But taking the previous poster’s statement in the spirit in which it was made - I think they have a point,  siblings are very helpful to having a happy and well adjusted life. [/quote]

it is not being overly literal to interpret someone saying "In my experience the best thing you can do for your child is to give them siblings" to mean that person thinks the best thin you can do for your child is to give them siblings (and that this is better than that giving them a loving home or a good education or emotional support).

And yes, for some families, these things are in competition with one another. Adding kids adds stress and financial pressure. Even if you are wealthy this is true -- the stress and financial pressures are just different. If having additional children would mean putting your kid in a more stressful, less supportive, less calm and loving environment, is it still the "best" thing.

Also parents do not provide their kids with oxygen. It's free! But if I lived somewhere with poor air quality I would in fact think it was more important to move to a place with better air quality than to give my child a sibling because, yes, being able to breathe freely does trump having a sibling on pretty much any hierarchy of needs.[/quote]

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