Reply to If you faced unimaginable trauma as a child, do you ever really move on?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My father was an angry alcoholic who never wanted to be a parent and my mother made excuses for him but I remember being ashamed that he didn’t attend my functions, didn’t do the volunteering that the other parents did, being ashamed that he would nt spend money on us and so I was always dressed inappropriately, having to lie about what we did on school breaks because we did nothing, having to lie about not having something because he broke it, being embarrassed when he called cruel nicknames in public in front of people and laughed about it. Even as an adult there are moments when people mention visiting their folks or something and you have to decide what to say about why you rarely see them. And the inner child stuff says when you are really young it’s easier to believe that you were bad and deserved to be punished rather than accepting that you were simply given a crappy possibly evil parent when others were given kind loving ones. That then sticks with you leading to chronic shame. We are currently at a beautiful beachfront resort and I always struggle with feeling like I don’t deserve a vacation because I haven’t worked hard enough and it’s wasteful.[/quote]
I recently heard a saying, "abused children don't stop loving their parents, they start hating themselves." Please enjoy your vacation, you deserve all good things.[/quote]

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