Reply to How families have changed in the last 50 years.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Love this conversation.  I think there are a lot of confounding reasons but I hate the positive narrative of estranging from family.

I feel like sometimes people are in a competition for whose trauma is worst.  Really enjoyed the book the Power of Being Disliked and its discussion of denying trauma.

Another idea to add would be the role of women as kinkeepers.  Women don't have the same ability or desire to continue to be the kinkeepers for both themselves and their husband.  [/quote]

Yes.   People and their boundaries are out of control.    [b]There was one post where the MIL told the family that her son and dil were having a baby.   They told her not to tell everyone and now they are estranged.   I mean who cares?   What kind of petty small minded people need to control an ordinary announcement. [/b]

Some people do have shitty parents, no doubt.   But so many young people have zero tolerance and are so rigid that they can’t just let harmless things go.  So the MIL told family members about a pregnancy.   No harm done so just let it go already.  [/quote]

The people who may have had trouble conceiving and/or have lost pregnancies in the past? WTH can't the MIL respect wishes? It's not her womb.  Boundaries only seem out of control to those who have no respect for them[/quote]

[b]It’s not her womb?   That makes no sense.  There was no mention of miscarriages.  [/b] It was just a control thing and zero tolerance.    Yeah, get mad, say something, but too many people call these little things breaking boundaries and even trauma.  Grow up.   I’m sure the couple has done their share of crossing boundaries.  No one is perfect.  [/quote]

That tells me everything I need to know about the "MIL" (or the person who posted this). MIL had her chance to share her news about her own pregnancy. And yes, her adult child's womb is not hers. If that doesn't make sense read it again, many times. [/quote]

"no mention of miscarriages" usually means that the person is not trusted enough by the person with the miscarriage to have this info OR that person knows but doesn't care. [/quote]

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