Reply to How families have changed in the last 50 years.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Love this conversation.  I think there are a lot of confounding reasons but I hate the positive narrative of estranging from family.

I feel like sometimes people are in a competition for whose trauma is worst.  Really enjoyed the book the Power of Being Disliked and its discussion of denying trauma.

Another idea to add would be the role of women as kinkeepers.  Women don't have the same ability or desire to continue to be the kinkeepers for both themselves and their husband.  [/quote]

Yes.   People and their boundaries are out of control.    There was one post where the MIL told the family that her son and dil were having a baby.   They told her not to tell everyone and now they are estranged.   I mean who cares?   What kind of petty small minded people need to control an ordinary announcement.

Some people do have shitty parents, no doubt.   But so many young people have zero tolerance and are so rigid that they can’t just let harmless things go.  So the MIL told family members about a pregnancy.   No harm done so just let it go already.  [/quote]
I was in the middle of interviewing for jobs when I told my parents I was expecting.  I asked them not to post on FB, as I was FB friends with many people from law school who worked at the firms where I was interviewing and I was really concerned about discrimination.  My mom was horribly offended that she wasn't allowed to post.

Then we had another big fight when I told her she couldn't post my dilation status on FB when I was in labor.   That's not information I want on FB.  She said it's a free country and she can post what she wants.  So now I don't tell her anything that I wouldn't want posted.  It's really limited our relationship, but that was her choice.[/quote]

Why would your mother even know your dilation status?   Sounds like you both over share.

I don’t see how a relationship is limited by you not sharing information you don’t want on Facebook.  If your mother is addicted to Facebook I would think it would improve your relationship to not share certain information with her.   That’s a smart way to avoid conflict.   [/quote]

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