Reply to Waiting 30+ to have kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We married at 26/27 after 1 year of dating and  1 year of engagement.

We had our  child when I was 40.

We had a 12 year honeymoon of international travel, parties, fine dining, devoting ourselves in our dream careers. We also bought a house and established ourselves financially.

My DH also was able to do an ivy league fellowship fir a graduate degree.

We had some help with fertility but I ended up conceiving naturally.

Our timeline worked great for us.

Friends who had kids young divorced. Someone told me to put it off, because once you have kids, it's 20 years of sacrificing your own goals.

I had had a rough childhood and wanted love, fun, pleasure and travel. So waiting worked for us.
[/quote]

Your post is incredibly irresponsible and could seriously mislead women reading it. Just because things worked out for you doesn’t mean this is the norm, and glossing over the risks of waiting to have kids is reckless. Fertility drops fast after 35, and many women face heartbreaking struggles with infertility or have to go through expensive, invasive treatments like IVF that still don’t guarantee success. Acting like getting pregnant naturally at 40 is no big deal is misleading and dangerous.

Let’s talk about the actual risks you completely ignored. Pregnancy at an older age comes with way higher chances of complications like preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, and issues like Down syndrome. These aren’t small concerns—they can change lives for the worse for both mom and baby. Brushing these off as if they’re not a factor is not just ignorant, it’s irresponsible. Other women reading your post might take your experience as advice, and that could lead to them making decisions they’ll regret when things don’t work out as easily for them.

And seriously, saying that having kids earlier means “20 years of sacrificing your goals” is flat-out insulting. Plenty of people balance having kids and building careers, traveling, or doing whatever else is important to them. Acting like you did it the “right” way is dismissive and condescending to those who chose a different path. It’s not your place to shame younger parents or pretend like their lives are over because they had kids earlier.

You got lucky, plain and simple. But spreading this narrative without acknowledging the risks or challenges is harmful. Stop pretending your personal story is a blueprint for everyone else—it’s not, and pushing this kind of message could hurt a lot of women who don’t have the same outcome as you.[/quote]

Oh my goodness, you are reading far, far too much into PP’s post.  [/quote]

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