Reply to I’m exhausted with my fiancé

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you for all of the responses, they've been very helpful. To answer some questions: I'm almost 6 months, so probably too late for an abortion. He *very* much wanted/wants the baby even though it was a surprise.

I spoke with him about it and told him it was unacceptable how he reacted and how unhappy I've been feeling, that it feels like I'm walking on eggshells and it's unsustainable. He cried at the idea of me leaving and apologized that he overreacted, and said that he would be better.

Then this morning he got extremely upset because it’s been maybe 4-5 days since we had sex, and he was shouting about it and saying how he couldnt live this way. So yes, it’s a theme that he gets very upset and emotional and kind of unable to self regulate, which I really hate.  I’m not sure what to do because I do feel very stuck with my current physical condition. I love that he's emotional and vulnerable at times but then other times I feel completely stretched to my limit and almost traumatized because it feels like it's *always* something [/quote]

Do YOU want this baby, with this person? Do you want to be saddled with him for 18 years? It sounds to me like you married (are you even married?) an abusive narcissist who love bombed and maybe also baby trapped you.

I would seek to exit this relationship at all costs including aborting. There are states where this is legal through 6 months, and a lifelong bond to someone who sounds like he is on the path to domestic violence is an excellent reason for a second trimester termination.

It is very typical for these men to only show their true colors during pregnancy.[/quote]

Just because there are states with no gestational limit on abortion (that's the term for what you're calling "legal through six months") -- that does not mean that, even if OP traveled to one of those states, she could find any doctor willing to give her an abortion. Short of serious fetal abnormality or risk to the mother's health if she carries to term, vanishingly few doctors would give an abortion so late. Elective abortion is a vital right and I am pro-choice but I think it's irresponsible of you to dangle the idea of "Just travel somewhere and you can get an abortion this late" in front of the OP, when that is HIGHLY unlikely. And she has never once said here that she does not want a child. I agree that it's a terrible pity she's pregnant in these circumstances. But blithely giving the impression she can get a second trimester (nearly third trimester by the time she travels and finds anyone willing to do it) abortion -- that's irresponsible. I was going to advise her to abort until I saw how far along she was. She's yoked to this guy now. Unfortunately.[/quote]

NP but there are surely some places in the US she could go for a late term abortion? [/quote]

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