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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you for all of the responses, they've been very helpful. To answer some questions: I'm almost 6 months, so probably too late for an abortion. He *very* much wanted/wants the baby even though it was a surprise.

I spoke with him about it and told him it was unacceptable how he reacted and how unhappy I've been feeling, that it feels like I'm walking on eggshells and it's unsustainable. He cried at the idea of me leaving and apologized that he overreacted, and said that he would be better.

Then this morning he got extremely upset because it’s been maybe 4-5 days since we had sex, and he was shouting about it and saying how he couldnt live this way. So yes, it’s a theme that he gets very upset and emotional and kind of unable to self regulate, which I really hate.  I’m not sure what to do because I do feel very stuck with my current physical condition. I love that he's emotional and vulnerable at times but then other times I feel completely stretched to my limit and almost traumatized because it feels like it's *always* something [/quote]

PP from above here. "He gets very emotional and kind of unable to self-regulate." Your words. OP, you need to cancel any wedding plans and tell him that unless he gets serious treatment for whatever mental issue he has, anxiety or dysregulation or past trauma or what the hell ever his issue is-- you will leave him. Make it an ultimatum. He will get furious about that but you need to be ready for his anger. Get names of doctors lined up, take him to the appointments so he won't back out or lie about going. You have three months to get him into serious treatment. Clock is ticking.

The childish tantrum over not having sex with a six months pregnant woman is truly horrible. Please recognize how bad that is. He'll be pestering you and crying for sex right after you've given birth. This is a truly bad situation, OP, and you need to stop accepting apologies and claims he'll "be better." He's a time bomb who will be, frankly, a terrible spouse and father, and though he wants the baby now -- will he resent baby once he thinks you "pay too much attention to the baby and not enough to me"??[/quote]

+1 million to all of this. I let my then-fiance's clear anger issues slide and 23 years later not only am I still dealing with it, so are our two children. This is the most leverage you will ever have to insist that he address this. Please confide in a friend, sibling, parent, or therapist to help you stick to your guns. [/quote]

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