Reply to S/O - Why does DCUM hate this kind of woman so much?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For me it’s a childhood thing.  This is the kind of girl and woman that my mom always wanted me to be, and I could never really pull it off.  
People act like this is easy, but it’s kind of hard to pull off.  Your hair has to be expensively, tastefully, and recently highlighted, and your lulu pants have to hit at the right place on your ankle over the right kind of shoes.  If you don’t do it right, you look like a cheap knock-off.

I don’t know that it’s jealousy, although it definitely was when I was a teenager.  It’s more like I spent a lot of formative years consciously deciding that this isn’t someone that I really want to be, and it’s hard to reevaluate as an adult.

[/quote]

This. It was also the girls like this, who had moms like this, who were unkind to me when I was young specifically because I did not have the "right" clothes and accessories. Because this is all about a uniform that conveys a specific income level and social status. And my family didn't have that when I was a kid and these girls made sure I knew.

Now I can afford that stuff and I do not want it because I view it as a sign of forced conformity and way to communicate to a very specific kind of person that you are the "right" kind of person because you have the "right" clothes and accessories. And I reject that whole dynamic.

I don't hate women like this on sight and actually have friends who dress like this and I don't care as long as they also don't care that I don't. But I don't think this look is stylish or something to be admired.[b] It's about checking boxes and ensuring you are accepted in certain circles that exclude people who are different. No thank you.[/b][/quote]

OP. I definitely empathize with the childhood trauma. But don't you think this is a bit of a leap? The random woman in Starbucks isn't the girl you grew up with and has done you no harm. (And in fact, she may have been someone who blossomed in adulthood.) Why do you assume she excludes people? It's that unfair to her to make that assumption?[/quote]

PP here and you didn't read what I wrote. I don't assume some random woman at Starbuck excludes people and I don't hate her on sight just because she looks like this. I have friends who dress this way just out of default -- they don't care about fashion or style but want to look nice and this is "UMC/wealthy suburban looking nice." I don't hold it against them.

What I said was that I hate this look. And I do. The look itself is absolutely about exclusion and conveying who is in and who is out, and it was developed explicitly to convey status because you can't look this way without lots of money and time. So I hate the look. Doesn't mean I hate everyone who looks this way. I also don't like the goth look (though I don't think it's as obnoxious as this one). Doesn't mean if I met a woman dressed in a goth way, I would hate her. I don't judge people based on how they dress.[/quote]

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