Reply to 10+ years into “settling”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]Not true. I knew I was settling at the time. I had broken up with my true love due to distance and decided I wouldn’t find that again. When XH started pursuing me, hard, I just gave in.[/quote]

When you write "broken up with my true love", do you mean he dumped you because you were no longer geographically close? If he was your true love, why did you (or he) move away or not move to be closer? The arrogance in your statement "when XH started pursuing me" makes me sad for him, as we would get a different story from him regarding who gave in.

[quote]PP here. I also got to the "gave in" stage. I knew I was "settling." I also had a mother who just wanted me to get married ASAP. I had much better options.[/quote]

If you had better options, honey, you would have taken them. He is sorry he did not match with one of his "better options."

Truly, these posters' self-delusion is on full display in this thread. Both of them acquired a spouse as good as they would ever find, but their egos are too vast to allow them to face the truth. 
[/quote]

I am the first poster. The one I loved and it didn't work out - I was living my life on the west coast. He was temporarily there (musician) but already planning on grad school and a life back east, where he was from. His goal in life was to get a public school teaching job and stay in it for life. I was still having a good time out west and living in the city. I totally wanted to marry him, but he wouldn't talk marriage unless I moved first. He was 5 years older than me, I was too young in hindsight. [/quote]

Continued...
I did make plans to move. But before I did, I panicked. I was scared to give up a job I liked and my friends and move to a place in the middle of Virginia. I wouldn't say either of us dumped the other. It was just a stalemate - either I move or he propose and neither of us felt comfortable moving forward without the other. He married the next woman he dated. As far as I know he did exactly what he said he would, teaching in the middle of Virginia. I wish him well, he was a wonderful person. I have lived an adventurous life and had kids and am now divorced and in a serious relationship. I think it all works out in the end. [/quote]

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