Reply to Ex forcing son to attend events with new partner

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I am with you on everything except the idea that this lady is being “forced upon” your son. Reality is that both you and your exH have moved on, and exH is appropriately emphasizing to your son that he (exH) is an adult allowed to make decisions about his life not preserve in amber the life that is over. Honestly that is important for your son to comprehend and deal with. You got divorced and this is how it goes. Your exDH is correct that if he is serious about this lady, who had nothing to do with the dissolution of your marriage, then son needs to accept her as part of his dad’s and also by extension, son’s life.

There are more and less forceful ways to do that but your son does need to make the adjustment, sorry to say. [/quote]

I understand that - and this is what I wrote above. Because my exH is a nutjob and abuser, I would rather prefer him coupled with someone who I can call and check on my son from time to time. She was NOT the AP who was a fault for marriage dissolution. The divorce and its' collateral damage to all of us was huge. 
I feel maybe the divorce itself was a wake-up call for my exH. I appreciate he tried to find the woman who would have easier time blending and fitting in. She's from the same region as I am (speaks the same native language as all of us and our son). The AP was a complete corporate w...re and a social climber - a totally different breed, he wouldn't be able to coexist long term.  This new woman is just a mom of two with nothing to her name, someone who is easy for him to manipulate. Just just myself 24 years ago. So I totally approve his choice and it's better that he settles now than continue going angry and mad without sex for years, with unknown risks. 
I told son the same - be polite with her, keep the "tell-all" story to himself. Maintain a good face with her whereby there was a really bad play behind the curtain for everyones' sake.[/quote]

Stop being nasty to this woman.  You are the problem.[/quote]

Ah ok:[b] why doesn't she date someone her age, alternating paying for dates? Why does she need a bold, unattractive man 20 years senior[/b] who is controlling and had acrimonious divorce? Of course she's deeply in love. Of course, it all the first wife's fault. LOL. And by a coincidence he lives in a $5m house with a pool all on his own, and owns a multi-million finance company.

I'm not a problem here, I'm just being realistic. [/quote]
He’s also much older than you too though? Why are you hyperfocused on this woman, I thought your issue is the father-son relationship and, by your admission the new woman is a pretty good catch all things considered? [/quote]

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