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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am technically a boy mom though I don't use that phrase but aren't you reading something into it that's not there?
I think there is an element of wistfulness there. When I pictured being a mother I admit I pictured a little girl a lot like myself. Motherhood has been completely different with boys though of course wonderful! So I think there's a "making your own happiness" component to that.
There is no "mom of both" identity because those people are considered to have the ideal situation.
[b]There is also a whole girl-mom social scene that the moms of boys are completely left out of.[/b] My kids have their few best friends and I see those moms but we never get together in big groups the way the girls seem to.[/quote]

I agree with a lot of what you said — I also envisioned motherhood based on my childhood as a sweet dance and craft loving little girl and then ended up with 2 boys. I’ve had to lean into it somewhat and accept that their interests (at least as of elementary school) involve a lot of physical stuff like wrestling around on a trampoline and shooting Nerf guns (we call them blasters). So I get how the whole “boy mom” identity may have started as a means to embrace the chaos of boys (especially when they’re with a big group).

I think the problem is that some weird moms took it to social media and started posting TikToks to the effect of “I’ll always be the most important woman in his life” or other creepy love song lyrics that should not apply to a mom/son. It’s the same distinction as the “girl dads” who embrace letting their daughters paint their nails vs the creepy ones who threaten dates with a shot gun and buy purity rings.

But on the topic of moms and socializing I actually feel like there is a huge group of boy moms at my kids’ school that get together. A lot of us have spent a lot of time together on the sidelines of basketball/soccer/baseball/flag football games. We have big text chains and meet up just adults or with families, especially those of us with multiple boys so there is sibling friend cross-over.

I do feel like the girl moms operate in a separate universe though. I barely know any of them because we just don’t cross paths. Maybe someday our kids will interact :) .[/quote]

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