Reply to PSA- Yes, you are a jerk if you don't invite your older parents to Christmas

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Reply to "PSA- Yes, you are a jerk if you don't invite your older parents to Christmas"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Question- my in laws have 4 children, three of whom have wives and children of their own. We are the only ones in easy driving distance (about 3 hours), the others are a plane ride away. My in laws want to spend every holiday with us because they don’t like to fly. They’re 60ish and healthy and retired and rich- so all the usual excuses are not there, they just don’t like to. It makes them anxious. Which is of course their choice. 
 But every single thanksgiving and Christmas they assume they are coming to our house. Sometimes my family comes too. Occasionally we will say we are traveling to see my sibling for thanksgiving and they will be gracious about it but they will then spend thanksgiving alone. 
I’m truly just tired of them coming to stay for 3 days and nights every Christmas. I want to have a holiday where I’m not tripping over them. They perch in the living room and I have nowhere to sit and relax. When they aren’t there, they are standing in the middle of the kitchen being generally in the way as I try to cook Christmas dinner. They bring a million presents for my kids that aren’t things they would want or play with because they don’t ask what their interests are, and it clutters the house and they are visibly annoyed when my kids don’t focus enough on the gifts they brought. Basically, they’re harmless, just annoying AF to have in the house for so long and it’s EVERY CHRISTMAS. Can someone draft a message for me to make clear that next year, we are going to spend Christmas just as a nuclear unit? With my own parents coming over for dinner? They aren’t cruel or abusive I just don’t want every single Christmas for the rest of my life to involve hosting them for half the week! My husband doesn’t care one way or another and says it’s up to me. [/quote]

I would have some sort of work that needs to be done on the guest room or something of that nature so your spouse can say “Mom, it isn’t going to work for you to stay at our house this Christmas.  You’re welcome for Christmas dinner of course, if you want to drive down and get a hotel.”  And then they may opt not to.  
Also, do they never fly or it’s just stressful at the holidays?  Your spouse should push one of his siblings to offer to fly them out a week in advance when travel is less stressful.  
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