Reply to How are you preparing your DD to protect herself?

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[quote=Anonymous]My very tall DD, 12, had on a tee shirt, shorts and boots and has been catcalled by grown men out of a vehicle so we had to tackle it head-on whether we wanted to or not. Pretending you tween or teen girl is not going to be sexualized by others in-person or online is naive IMO but YMMV.

We started conversations about healthy relationships, being direct in DD's dealings with people and discussing our expectations for online and in-person behavior several years ago. We have expanded that to include what she can do about it more recently.

DD walks to and from school alone, which is about a mile here in DC, and we have spent years teaching her about situational awareness. Once dark, she knows she may only walk in groups or needs to call us for a ride.

When we started this conversation years ago, it was about personal safety, which is our #1 priority for each and every family member. DD knows she can contact us day or night if DD feels unsafe, no questions asked. We then went into how to handle oneself in the city, on public transport or walking, and asked our child to notice anything out of the ordinary and what to do when she sees an erratic individual etc. While traveling, we have asked her to point out potential pickpockets etc. and discuss how to handle yourself in a city, ie walk tall, look ahead as if knowing where you are going, don't be on a phone, go into a store if lost etc.

Those conversations have evolved throughout the years, now including such topics as keeping track of fellow family members via Find My feature on her AppleWatch and our phones, her decision-making when out in a group, and creating and respecting her own and others' personal boundaries.

DD's school has already dealt with sex ed, cyberbullying, general online safety, and a host of other topics. As those topics were discussed in school, we provided additional context and offered our family's perspective. For example, we emphasized that posts are never private and can and will be used against you by fellow middle schoolers; strangers may be online presenting themselves as someone else; etc. We don't scare her but try to explain that there are some unpleasant things in the world and we want to give her the resources and tools so she can take care of herself.

We are by no means perfect, but I do think having ongoing conversations through the lens of personal safety and open communication without judgment will be extremely helpful so that we can help DD tackle increasingly complex situations (parties, drinking, sex etc) as she grows up. [/quote]

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