Reply to Divorced People: What age were your kids when you divorced? Impact?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They say under 2 and over 22 are the best times to divorce[/quote]

They don’t know.  Youngest was 2 and he has been most affected. Very anxious and I think some of this is because older siblings get all the attention.  Plus just has back fourth between houses at very young age.  I still remember him bawling because he wanted his mother. [/quote]

If you’re going to have joint custody, doing it when the kids are under 5 is really tough on them. For attachment reasons and because kids that young don’t do well with frequent routine/environment changes. It can trigger anxiety especially if they’re prone to it.

If no joint custody, then as early as possible.

Mine were 7 and 11. I would say the older one is more or less adjusted a few months later. Their life is at school, at activities, with friends… the younger one is not totally ok but getting there. They are actually doing much better at school this year. There is occasional anxiety. I set up the schedule so we wouldn’t be separated for longer than a day or two most weeks (we do 2-2-5-5, but with a mid five visit and 1-1 time with each kid on weekends so I get the youngest on his).

I wouldn’t have wanted to split earlier. My ex went off the rails and had major mental health issues. Even so, I’m glad I hung in there an extra gut wrenching year. When we split my youngest was just starting to sleep through consistently without night wakings.[/quote]

Joint custody can be so difficult on kids. Its nice in theory, and both parents being involved is obviously ideal typically, but the problem is that it is often quite bumpy in practice. [/quote]

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