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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Guy here - for me its attraction.  Added weight plus the current fashion trends over the last few years just make it impossible for me to see her in a sexual way.  We’re great friends and there’s not anyone else I’d want in my life, ever.  I wish she would wear things I find her attractive in occasionally but I’ve asked and its just caused a fight.  I’m sure now she thinks I have low T (its in the 700’s as of a checkup a month ago), I have pron addiction (I don’t even watch it) or other.

My reccomendation would be for both of you to read His Needs/Her Needs and talk about it.  The book is a little dated and has somewhat of a Christian bent but its pretty blunt and you can receive the Christian aspect however you’d like.  Its a great place to start a conversation.[/quote]

A very good post. Everyone thinks therapy, medication etc. can fix NOT being attracted. It can't. Some people have unresolved anger which affects attraction and the marriage. From OP's comments, I believe he is simply not attracted to her in that way for some reason. Aging is for sure a factor. I had a close friend who was 49 who confided her husband never wanted to have sex, he wouldn't talk about it either. Frankly, she changed over the years, we all age differently. That's harsh but it's a reality among men and women. Sure a book might help, but can it make him be attracted when he isn't. No.[/quote]

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