Reply to “Mean Girl” apologized. What now?

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Reply to "“Mean Girl” apologized. What now?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]haven't really read the full thread, but just jumping in to say that in my middle school experience, all the girls (it was a small school) engaged in exclusionary behavior, either directly or were complicit. Who was "out" was fluid and changed at least quarterly or so. If I'd written off all the girls who excluded me at some point, and later apologized, I'd have had zero friends. We were all so forgiving during that period because of how quickly social relationships/drama changed.

All this to say that middle school friendship dynamics are SO different from adult dynamics and they're figuring out how to create stable friendships. If your daughter likes the girl, she will probably give her another chance (even if an adult woman would be likely to cut off a friend who engaged in similar behavior). And if your daughter doesn't care much about the girl, she will probably leave the friendship behind.

I think grownups should probably stop projecting their own boundaries and relationship expectations on little kids learning how to relate to one another.[/quote]

I remember how awful some girls were in middle and high school. Not sure if I got a grand apology but I know at least one told me at one time that she was sooo mad at me and has no idea what that was about, she wasn’t even sure why they did that. But the whole group iced me out for a long time. Over nothing apparently. Luckily I moved away after high school and never talked to any of them again. I made normal friends in college and after who didn’t act like that. They may have had their own issues in their younger years but they didn’t try it on me and I respect myself enough to not let people treat me badly and then have to pretend it never happened. We can advise our children to do the same based on our own life experiences. [/quote]

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