Reply to We're paying big $$$ for private college but our daughter is with public university friends every weekend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Would this bother you as a parent? We're certainly not rich, it was somewhat of a stretch for us to afford a private college. (No debt.) She begged us and we made it happen. Well, a handful of her best high school friends landed at a large public university about 30 minutes away. She talks to or texts her mother on a daily basis and it seems every other day she's headed to and returning from the public university her friends are at. We're not worried about her grades, she's a great student, but I'm concerned she's not dedicating herself to the private college and classmates there. She claims she loves her college. I can't help but feel like what is the point of wasting 3x more for the private if she's itching to be at the cheap public all the time.[/quote]

remove the public vs elite private.

I'd want my kid at their own school making friends for the first 2 months of school.  After that, maybe a once a month visit with HS friends.  Otherwise, everyone else will make their friends at her college and it will be hard to fit in.  [/quote]

+1[/quote]

+2.  This is absolutely the time to make friends.  Everyone is essentially shopping for friends now, but by second semester or sophomore year most of the social groups will have started to gel and it will be much more challenging to make friends.  She should consider “friend making” to be one of her first year classes.  If she doesn’t have good friends by end of first year, she can hang out with HS friends at state U as much as she wants.  But she’s totally depriving herself of the college experience by not making the effort to make college friends.  And I’m worried her HS friend group will start to disintegrate in a year or so and they she’ll be left without a good social network.[/quote]

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