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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Pp here—agree that you could ask “what does Larla need to do to improve” but now that you’ve already gone the “not taking no for an answer route” the coach understands you are not someone who will hear them. Also, I have had many of those growth needed convos with players and convos with players + parents and more often than not when the parent is involved in the conversation it means they are driving the improvement plan, not the player. The result is rarely as solid as when a player asks me directly and then seeks out additional training or puts in the work on their own accord. The kids that motivate themselves to get better are the kids who are more likely to find success at the higher levels of play because THEY care about growth, not their parents. [/quote]

+100

I have 3 kids and ALL three know perfectly well in these scenarios the reason why they they aren’t getting much playing time or why they are on “B” team and not “A” or JV vs varsity etc. And they can explain that to me themselves.

Also coaches often are looking out for their player’s best interests/development even if the parent doesn’t see things the same way.

One of my sons plays on the “B” baseball team rather than “A”- he was disappointed but knew exactly the reasons why. His club coaches actually call and explain to parents after tryouts (which is awesome) their reasoning. They told us word for word what our own DS had told us himself (hits well enough to be on the A team but his pitching and defensive skills at his primary  position are not good enough to beat out players on the A team). Better to be on the B team and get tons of playing time vs sitting on the bench on A. Also consider what you are asking of coaches, here. I suppose if a parent complains enough maybe some coaches will appease them- but at what cost? It will just end up with your kid sitting on the bench and making yourself the “problem” parent. How is that better for your kid?![/quote]

Well shoot, once they're on the team I can badger them into giving my kid more play time.
If it worked once, why wouldn't it work again.
[/quote]

Sad but true. Unfortunately some youth coaches do “give in” to parents like this- which causes so many problems. It encourages the other parents to do the same “hey it worked for Larlo’s dad!” or legitimately casts doubt on coach’s decision making “is Larlo playing over my kid because he is better? Or because his mom complained?” . It also makes things worse for future coaches- parents figure if it was fine on the other team, why not on this team? Ugh.

There was a lot of this on my son’s team when younger (with paid non parent coaches, even!). Finally this year (the kids are middle schoolers) coaches made the whole team RUN in practice every time a parent contacts them about playing time. LOL. He announces to the whole team “I got 2 parent complaints about playing time. Line up!” and makes the whole team run. A LOT. His way of telling the kids to get their parents in line- seems to be working and have not heard any complaints.

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